The best way to ruin a generation is to tell them their parents are wrong.
I am not saying that it is not acceptable for kids to diverge from their parents, but they need to understand that different is not necessarily wrong. Furthermore, they need to know that parents are human and make mistakes, but that does not invalidate other things that they say. For instance, if your Grandpa was a racist, that doesn’t mean that he was wrong about saving vs spending. His judgment about things not pertaining to race is not impaired by his racism. Do not discredit his aged wisdom due to that flaw. We do not want our goal to be to turn a generation against the last one. We lose values, standards, and traditions that way. That is why we are moving toward apathy as a norm.
The worst thing a parent can say about raising their child is “I hated that, so I won’t make my kids do it.”
We have all said it before when we were made to finish our broccoli. However, some of us mature when we have kids and realize that we want to instill healthy eating into our children. We give our kids broccoli because of the nutritional value, but we may add some cheese. It is reckless to say that since you didn’t like it that your child will not be subjected to it. I have heard someone say it is abusive. I asked what the bad consequences were and they said that they hated having to do that. So the worst outcome is that you get mad for a little while as opposed to being malnourished. Not to mention the fact that since 1/7 of American kids are starving, people cannot afford to be short order chefs that cook a meal for each family member. Not to mention the obesity epidemic caused by teaching kids that fatty and sugary foods are the best. That cannot be the rubric for rules for our kids. I hated having to finish dinner before I got desert. I hated going to piano lessons after a while, but I stuck with it. Heck, I couldn’t go play until my homework is done, but I was a good student. I measured as a genius in third grade on an IQ test given to high schoolers. I didn’t like sitting there while I could have been playing, but it built character and gave me a better work ethic than most of my generation. You can bet your bottom dollar that my kids will have the same rules. You raise a spoiled, ungrateful, whiny, entitled child when you try to appease and thereby neglect to be a parent.
But it made me cry; therefor, it was abusive
It means it was effective. Kids cry. You should not base your parenting style on keeping your kids from crying. They need to learn that there are consequences for their actions. Abuse does exist, but making a kid do something that is good for them whether or not they like it is called parenting, not abuse. Beating them is not acceptable. Talking down to them is not acceptable. But telling them that they should finish what they start is character building. Quit being so whiny about what you went through as a child. If your most traumatic childhood memory was missing Gilligan’s Island because you wouldn’t finish your dinner, then you were not abused; you had a better childhood than most. Quit being so whiny, and discipline your kids.